The Secret of Immortality – Sadhvi Pragya Thakur

We all know Sadhvi Pragya Thakur as an emblem of science, modern society, and tolerance. After decades of hard work and research, her scientific contributions overshadow the likes of Victor Frankenstein and Qyburn (of king’s landing).

After successfully finding a cure for cancer and high blood pressure, renowned doctor Sadhvi Pragya Thakur have found the secret of immortality. Like everything else, this discovery stems from the mother of humans – Indian Cow (registered trademark of BJP). Furthermore, the formula is available to people of all faiths but will only work on patriots as they share a psychic connection with cows.

The Secret

Here is what you need to do to become immortal:

• Grow cannabis at the north east entrance of your home to produce ayurvedic bhaang and ganja (make sure to use Patanjali seeds)
• Mix bhaang extract with 3 table spoons of gomutra and add 5 crushed leaves from ficus tree (peepal ka ped) to make a paste
• Mix it in a glass of cold water to make a juice, add lemon for flavor
• Extract patanjali ganja leaves and mix it with a hint of dried cowdung in a hukka
• Drink a glass of the juice while smoking hukka twice a day
• This will get rid of dopamine cells in the brain that create perception of time
• As time will slow down or become non-existent in our brains, we will feel immortal

‘I have been using the formula for decades’ says Sadhvi Pragya Thakur. ‘That’s what makes me look so young at the age of 135 years’ she added, smoking the medicinal hukka.

Tremendous Support

Although the medical community have questioned her scientific thesis, students in STEM fields have shown tremendous interest in her work. After tens of thousands of engineering students gathered in Bhopal for her Political rally, we learned the reason for this overwhelming support. ‘Political rally? We just came here to get whatever she is smoking. That stuff must be legendary.’ said a visibly high Rakesh, 3rd year student of MANIT Bhopal.