Techie Hospitalized after Twitter Battle

A 28-year old techie hailing from Thane was admitted to Hiranandani hospital on Friday night after a bloody clash on twitter. He had multiple tears in finger tissues after passionately typing 1200 comments in one day.

Ramesh, an employee of an IT service company, has been extremely active on social media propagating and debating on behalf of his favorite political party, as we near general elections.

To claim worker’s compensation benefit, Ramesh blamed his employer for making him work overtime which allegedly caused repetitive strain injury (RSI). This seemed reasonable at first as RSI is a common ailment amongst manual testers. However, the claim was dismissed after his office logs proved that he spent 80% of his time on tabloid news sites debating anonymous people.

‘We have seen a rise in finger related injuries in the past few months’ said Dr. Ajay Gupta, an orthopedic surgeon at Raheja hospital, Mumbai. ‘These problems seem to spark during national outrages against Pakistan, China, certain movie releases, celebrity weddings, naming a child or choosing to be a surrogate mother’ he added.

On Ramesh’s cognitive disorder, renowned psychiatrist Dr. SK Sharma said ‘It is difficult to pinpoint the root cause of such afflictions. Our current recommendation is a mental therapy aimed to teach patients the ability to mind their own business. Drinking beers is also advised until evolution can fix this.’

When asked what led him to this behavior, Ramesh blamed Jawaharlal Nehru, Sunny Leone, Mark Zuckerberg, Mao Zedong, The West, internet, goats, and aliens. However, we could not independently establish a connection.

Meanwhile a Chinese startup called ‘Keyboard Killers’ have entered the market to help this new class of people with innovative and cost-effective products like cushion keyboards, finger bands and type-more lotion.